As You Are

I was challenged today in ways I never expected. Sure it began normal, but my own inner struggles destroyed what would have been a great day and made it unbearably hard. Then, I saw something on Facebook that just struck me, and I wanted to do the same for any of my readers that are having a bad day, like I did. So, here it goes...Don't know who out there needs this, but whoever you are, this post is for you.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine someone as fabulous and wonderful as you, can feel utterly depleted and tired. Wasted and even depressed. Things can be going great all day and suddenly there is that pesky gloom and doom inside your head again. Maybe, you just saw an otherwise innocuous picture and it triggered a land slide of sorrows that you thought you already dealt with. Perhaps, you were fine, dandy even, then "that" person messages or called. It could be that you just suddenly felt useless and that all your efforts had been wasted on meaningless things or people. Or, maybe you just can't put your finger on it, but you're upset. Feeling downtrodden. Exhausted; at the end of your rope and ready to tie a knot, but not to hang on. You know what I mean. And do you know what else I know?...this post is for you. 

This post is for you; for you to know that no matter where you've come from, regardless of what you've dealt and are dealing with, and despite your failures and mistakes...you are loved. You may stop me here and get emotional or even tune me out; how can I know without knowing you? Who am I, that I can say someone loves you...what right do I have to speak to you?bor, I just don't know how bad you are, once I did I would understand that no one could love you. 

Well, it may seem or be hard to accept, impossible maybe to believe. But without meeting you, without knowing your color, your country, your religion, or your preferences...I love you. I may not have seen your face, but I know what you face. All that anxiety and depression, that hurt and pain, that fear and weight, I carry it too. And I love you for carrying it with me. Through the bonds of common suffering and the comradery that it builds, I've gotten to know you. And that dread, regret, and terror you can't seem to escape no matter how hard, how fast, or how much you try...I am trying to escape it too.

So don't do anything for the next ten second, ten minutes, or ten hours; whatever it takes to settle the turmoil you're feeling. Just remember you are loved. And I may go so far as to say you are loved by many more people than you know or believe. I am one of them. So don't give up. Don't ever, ever give up. 

Seasons of Inspiration: How I Beat Summer Depression.

My ideal weather is snow.

Snow,

Snow, 

Snow,

 Snow,

 Snow!

Think of a wonderful, warm fireplace with a few logs burning away slowly while you are curled on the couch with a fluffy blanket. Maybe you have a cup of hot tea or coco- or in my editor's case a double scotch on the rocks- but most assuredly there is, in your possession, your favorite book and adequate writing implements just within reach (like every other square inch of your house.) Ok. So image in mind, hold it right there; now think of the abundance of inspiration that can bring. The Surplus of production!! Then imagine a wasteland of heat and blistering death. That's not very creative. It's not even fun. It's actually depressive. The overabundance of sunlight and sun-worshipers that I am forced to put up with over summer is enough to drive my liver into cirrhosis...as if it wasn't already there... from birth. Here is what I do when I am at the beach. I wear my ultra UV proof sunscreen, a full cover-up, hat, and glasses; then I bring my umbrella and lawn chair and sit watching everyone else cook like bacon on a skillet. Then once the sun sets and everyone's home, I actually begin to enjoy the atmosphere and the water. The sun is ridiculously draining for me. I can't enjoy it. Actually, I do enjoy it. From behind heavily tinted windows, paintings, and cheap travel postcards. That's how I enjoy it.
So needless to say I am becoming creative and happy in the fall then absolutely unstoppable in the winter. But, that only last like two months total in this blasted state. So for the next two months I am coming down from a high in spring and then the rest of the eight months of the year I am totally depressed. Summers in FLORIDA are an absolute killer. I die. And then I revive at night to die again with the sunrise.
I've been pushing to blog more and trying to get my life set on a schedule. But this ridiculous summer thing has been going on since January. So if you want to know how I beat the severe depression that I face in the summer...I don't. I wait it out by promising myself this year's winter will be longer and much better than last. Since drinking isn't a tradition writer's relief I can oft indulge- Slurpees are my Achille's Heel that and they are frozen.
Thinking about how unproductive I have been this summer got me thinking. It would be really fun to see what actually inspires people to create and be productive and conversely, what kind of external things depress them. For me add bananas to the list, right underneath endless summers. I thrive under deadlines, cold weather, and as far, far away from bananas as possible.
 But, what makes you, personally feel productive and happy? Is it being appreciated, hearing a happy song, seeing the person you love...? I am really curious. I would love to hear from people to understand who you are and what makes you create your masterpieces? And, how you beat the heat during your season of depression (seriously it doesn't have to be summer, I realize I am more of a vampire than most. Some people get depressed when they see anything white and fluffy- just as a resident of SouthEast Boston.)

So hit me with your thoughts, comments, and complaints.

-Vera Lynn
(All pictures courtesy of google images)